Predictions, from the Inane to the Insane
Heaping spoonfuls of Salt recommended
American League East
1st New York Yankees – The signature of my baseball confusion. Early Steinbrenner I could not and did not like them. But, the Jeter era…
2nd Toronto Blue Jays – Trying, in an upset, to prove Toronto is not a small market.
3rd Boston Red Sox – I was rooting for the caught from behind on the last day of ’78 Red Sox, but not for the 2004 Curse breaking Red Sox??! Note, I lived in four different states between 1976 and 1981. But more importantly sometime between 1981 (the first strike) and 1987-89 (the beginning of homerun inflation) Baseball underwent a subtle paradigm shift and my level of loyalty and interest, at first confused, gradually has never been the same.
4th Baltimore Orioles – Guess Palmeiro, Sosa et. al. weren’t the answer. Poor Miguel Tejada, a heckuva a player.
5th Tampa Bay Devil Rays – Should be contracted.
National League East
1st Atlanta Braves – Yes, again. A most remarkable streak.
2nd New York Mets – Finally somewhat likeable. Go Omar Minaya and Willie Randolph!!
3rd Philadelphia Phillies – Phills fans it could be worse. You could be the Pirates.
4th Washington Nationals/Montreal-San Juan Expos – What’s not to like about a team that was originally named after their stadium ? The Franchise most screwed by the ’94 strike.
5th Florida Marlins – Should be contracted. Florida is for Spring Training.
American League Central
1st Cleveland Indians – Over the past 15 years has there been a better baseball town ? What happened to the place they used to call, “The Mistake on the Lake ?”
2nd Chicago White Sox – Talk about an outta nowhere run to the championship. You wouldn’t have seen them in my predictions for last years playoffs.
3rd Minnesota Twins – If Minnesotans want baseball and they want to live there, they ought to pull down the Dome and make’em go back to playing outside. Enjoy Minnesota.
4th Detroit Tigers – Take heart in the Pistons excellence Detroiters.
5th Kansas City Royals – A travesty.
National League Central
1st St. Louis Cardinals – There like the Braves and the Yanks in this new era, isn’t that right ? Just pick’em every year ? Incidentally, how much fun has it been to watch Jim Edmonds play centerfield over the years…
2nd Houston Astros/Colt 45’s – I, for one, hope Clemons comes back. And I really, really hope he’s never done performance enhancing houha.
3rd Chicago Cubs – If the two Sox and the Cubs go Back-to-Back-to-Back, you are allowed to start officially worrying about the impending apocalypse.
4th Milwaukee Brewers – Will underachieve versus slight better than meager expectations. How’s that for a fun season Brewers fans ?
5th Pittsburgh Pirates – Another year desecrating a once great franchise.
6th Cincinnati Reds – Opening day should be a weekday afternoon home game in Cincinnati, a day before any other games are played. If it wasn’t for the miracle sweep of ’90 over the steroid pumping Bash Brothers of the A’s, it’d be going on 30 years since the Reds won anything!!
American League West
1st California-Anaheim-Los Angeles Angels of Eastern Orange County – Still miss Mr. Autry.
2nd Seattle Mariners – Ichiro. Now contemplate.
3rd Oakland A’s – Moneyball doesn’t work without pitching ? Does the pitching hold up ? Does anyone on the East Coast see any games played in the Pacific Time Zone to find out ?
4th Texas Rangers – Was any franchise more complicit in their players steroid use…
National League West
1st San Diego Padres – Is there a better meteorological climate to watch baseball in the whole world ? Rest assured if you lived in San Diego you wouldn’t mind if they won the division with an under .500 record either.
2nd Los Angeles Dodgers – What an interesting bunch of signings. Sort of reminds on of the mid 80’s Yankees of the Steve Kemp era. 80 wins would be a surprise. Hooray for Hollywood.
3rd San Francisco Giants – Bonds will overshadow their season.
4th Colorado Rockies – The stadium and town where steroids are least needed.
5th Arizona Diamondbacks – Should be contracted.
New York Yankees vs. Chicago White Sox
and Cleveland Indians vs. LA/California Angels
San Diego Padres vs. St. Louis Cardinals
and New York Mets vs. Atlanta Braves
Winners: Yanks, Indians, Cards, Braves
New York Yankees beat the Cleveland Indians
Atlanta Braves beat the St. Louis Cardinals
New York Yankees vs. Atlanta Braves
…finally moving on to…
Tiger wins the Masters. I know it’s chalk. Hey, I love to watch the greatest player of this era and possibly any era, play well.
Romano Prodi will be a less dramatic shift in Italian politics from Silvio Berlusconi than Angela Merkel has been in German politics from Gerhard Schroeder. Unlike Schroeder to Merkel, Prodi’s change will be more style than substance.
92% plus of United States Congressional incumbents will win re-election.